2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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