Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Randomize
