grandma shit on top of the toilet
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
