yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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