I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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