I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
