very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Randomize
