is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
