READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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