let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
