i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
