she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
