Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
