So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Randomize
