Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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