The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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