i will never coherently bang her
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
