he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Found the puke drawer
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
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