Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
