fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
