That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
