And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
