I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
