Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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