haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
