Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
