There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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