apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
