Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
im holly from the hills drunk
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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