The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Even my vagina gasped.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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