she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
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