I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
