Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
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