Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize