just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
