real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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