He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Randomize
