help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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