I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Randomize
