I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
