so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
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