just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
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