Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
