if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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