Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
She even gives head with a lisp.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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