i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
