that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
