i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
