The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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