it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
