You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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