trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Randomize
