Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
How's work?
Spinning.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
